In August I had a lot of conversations with friends about how genuine to be with the opposite gender. My INFJ friend told me that when he was himself around girls he ended up asking them a lot of questions—admittedly he was a great interrogator and not very good at first dates.
I related a lot to his dilemma. In my early 20’s I took all my dating advice from the book of Philippians. The author, Paul, speaks of his friend Timothy like this:
I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, so that I may be cheered by news of you. I have no one like him that will be genuinely concerned for your welfare. Philippians 2:19-20
I figured be like Timothy around girls—be genuinely concerned and ask a lot of questions and all will work out. The result—a few female friends, no dates and no girl friend. I guess that’s what I should have expected taking all my dating advice from the Bible.
My whole paradigm would be changed when I was a speaker/chaperone at an elementary church camp. Like at every church camp, on the first night, all the 10-12 year old little boys did was talk about the girls they liked. Really, I should say the two girls they all liked.
The next day it snowed (which was awesome and really surprising because it was a Southern California camp). With great joy, a snowball fight ensued (next to Hannah crushing chips I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much joy on children’s faces).
Two of the twelve year olds got a great idea. Like assassins, they packed snowballs as hard as they could, preceded to stock the girls I knew they liked, and finally jump out and bean them in the back of the head. Instantly, both girls were in tears. I didn’t punish the boys because I assumed that ruining their chances was punishment enough.
To my shock, horror and amazement, within several hours the girls who had been in tears were now flirting with the snowball assassins.
Six years later, when a coworker (the same one from “Twinkly Eyes” and “Shit Tester or Encourager”) said something about being herself around guys I instantly told her, “Why on earth would you do that? That’s the worst idea you’ve ever had” (both honest sentiment and a perfect shit test).
However, I started to wonder if maybe I had given up too quickly on being genuine. I do much prefer being genuine than beaning girls with snowballs (literal or verbal).
In fact, as I was thinking about this post today, a perfect story happened. I was at the gym and saw a different coworker (the one who made me the “cutie catcher”). Not only is she a fan of the blog—but we traded notes on all sorts of stuff. In fact, I even convinced her to bring in a picture of her in belly button high jeans and I’m going to show her my driver’s license photo with the part and glasses. Genuine conversations can certainly be fun!
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