To follow my own advice from yesterday I want to do something incredibly childlike. The thought of George’s Pizza was just about enough to put me in an ecstatic state when I was three. Now the though/dream that makes my heart race (don’t worry this isn’t about to get x-rated) is getting a book contract for my manuscript War For My Soul: Failed Nice Prayers, Shouting F*!#; A Spiritual Memoir.
The challenge is publishing is not childlike—it’s more like slow motion dating. As an aspiring writer you notice a publisher that you’re attracted to. This isn’t much different from noticing a girl. Then the super slow-mo part starts. You spend several weeks writing a proposal letter—imagine it taking three weeks to utter the question, “Will you go out with me?” Then you mail the letter to the publisher and wait six to twelve weeks for a response. And although standing there vulnerable and anxious in front of a girl you just asked out feels like six to twelve weeks it’s only about half a second. Fortunately, when the letter finally arrives one day the slow motion part ends. Just like with women, they always try to let you down gently, “thanks for your interest in our publishing house but we will not be publishing your book. Best of luck with you publication goals.”
So here’s where the childlike part comes in. I showed one of my professors my proposal letter (posted here in 10,000 Follower Goal--Part 2). She thought it sounded great and would make for a really good book. The one suggestion she had was that publishers do not care about quality but markets. She told me a great selling point would be to open with a sentence about having a blog with 10,000 followers.
Put the child locks on the cupboards, put the sippy lids on your cups and brace yourself for a dream from three-year-old Jonathan. What if this blog could have 10,000 followers? Fortunately, the math behind four to 10,000 is way too complicated for a three year old. This is a whimsical dream but why not be childlike every now and then?
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