On the wall in front of my desk hangs all sorts of objects that inspire hope—I’m sure at some point I’ll post on all of them. In August I remembered to look over at a key chain from El Cortez Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. On the front of the key chain is a picture of my brother and I with our arms around each other. My brother’s t-shirt says, “Love is,” which sounds like a perfect ontological phrase for the picture. Ironically, if the camera could scroll down it would reveal the final word on the shirt was “fake.”
This key chain is important because despite having Bible verses memorized on goodness—for instance “I believe I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27)—I have a very hard time believing in a good future.
This pessimism was honed in high school. My top dream was varsity basketball—I took 2,000 shots a day in the off-season and woke up at 5 AM every morning of the year to lift weights. However, by the time I was a senior and on varsity my knee was messed up and I had to quit basketball. Also, in high school no matter how much I lowered my standards girl after girl rejected me.
So what does a Vegas trip have to do with goodness? First, to understand our trip it is key to know something about my brother. He has better game than anyone I have ever seen in real life—when we’re in Vegas he literally talks to every girl/woman he sees. This even includes flirting with mother/daughter combos in front of the eyes of an angry husband/father. This makes the two of us a very odd pairing because, to quote my brother, “Jonathan, you have the worst approacher’s anxiety I’ve ever seen” (For those of you who haven’t read The Game this means I am really shy around women).
After two and a half days of me not talking to any women my brother announced, “tonight you’re opening some sets” (This is The Game lingo for walking up to strangers and starting conversations). I was skeptical.
My brother happened to know that on Wednesday nights the exclusive club L.A.X. at the Luxor hotel is the coolest place in Vegas and he proceeded to take me there. After being in what looked like a Disneyland line for thirty seconds I was already starting to feel very anxious.
At that very moment my brother said, “Follow me.” We got out of line and walked up to the bouncer. My brother pulled out a hundred dollar bill he had won betting on sports and handed it to the guy rather smoothly. Although my brother gambles he is actually very frugal. This was a big expenditure for my brother and I knew it.
That night I would open all the sets we talked to—two British girls, two Ohio State girls, get us invited into a private bachelorette party (the bride to be quickly uninvited my brother on account of the “Love is Fake” t-shirt he was wearing), and upon my brother’s prodding used the “I need you to reject me” line on two girls from Alaska.
At the end of the night I thanked my brother for paying to get us in. He told me that he had done it because he knew if he paid 100 dollars to get us in that I would talk to girls—he knew the extra motivation of not wanting to ruin a night that cost 100 dollars was all I needed to get over my fear.
He believed in good outcomes for me that I myself could not see. In fact he was even willing to make a big sacrifice so I could succeed.
This was certainly not the first time and probably won’t be the last time my brother has reminded me to search, to look for, and to expect goodness. For this I am very grateful.
No comments:
Post a Comment